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Monday, March 31, 2014

Balance Sheet of Life




Change Does Not Happen, 

When circumstances IMPROVE 

Change HAPPENS, 

When U DECIDE to Improve ur  Circumstances.

Have a Nice Day!

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Joke of the day.


Interviewer: What will happen, when earth rotates 30 times faster!

Candidate: We will get our salary every day.

Friday, March 28, 2014

Santa writing his medical entrance exam!!?



Santa writing his medical entrance exam gives definitions as follows :

*Antibody : Against everybody

*Artery : Study of fine paintings

*Genes : Blue denims

*Hymen : Greeting to several males

*Labour pain : Hurt at work

*Liposuction : French kiss

*Microbes : Small dressing gowns

*Cardiology : Advanced study of playing cards

*Cat scan : Searching lost cat

*Coma : Punctuation mark

*Bacteria : Back door to cafeteria. 

Thursday, March 27, 2014

I have some bad news and some really bad news to share?!



A man visits the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes in with a grave look on his face. 

Doctor: Well, I have some bad news and some really bad news. 


Man: Well, give me the really bad news first. 

Doctor: You have cancer, and only 6 months to live. 

Man: And the bad news? 

Doctor: You have Alzheimer's disease. 

Man: That's great. I was afraid I had cancer!

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Never make a women cry.



Never make a women cry...


There is nothing more expensive than a female tear..




When a single drop comes out,



It first mixes with 'Loreal' eyeliner (Rs.650)




And 'Dior' mascara (Rs.2500)





Then when it rolls down the cheek,




It mixes with 'D&G' blusher (Rs.2500)..





And finally when it touches the lips, 



It gets mixed with 'Maybelline' lipstick (Rs.350).


This means that a single drop worth Rs.6000



Pls don't make them cry guys... 


It would be difficult to afford it!



Issued in public interest !!!


..........................................


Never underestimate the power of 3 things







1. Women angry for a reason




2. Women angry without reason




3. Women about to get angry & looking for a reason. 

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Choose ur favorite number!




Choose 
your 
favourite 
number






100

500

235

856

958

60

20

555



















Na na reply nahi dena hai










Bus Recharge that amount


 to my mobile and 


u will get my blessings :)))

Monday, March 24, 2014

Introduce Yourself and Your Hobbies.





A new lady teacher came to teach 3th standard students. 


As it was the first day, she gave her intro, and asked all the students to introduce themselves with name and hobby. 



She said, "Let's start with the boys first."



Boys start giving their intro...


First boy: "My name is John, and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."


Teacher was confused to listen but said, "Interesting. Well, Ok. In fact, we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is essentially a child in each of us. So it's ok John. Yes next." 


Second boy: "Myself Peter and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."



Teacher now got surprised and said, "Good. I like the spirit of supporting a friend. Ok next."



Third boy: "I'm Smith and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub." 


Teacher: "Guys are you joking or what? Please be sincere. Ok next."

This continues...

and the last boy stands up "I'm Harry and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."



Exhausted, the teacher said, "I don't think I will be able to teach un-grown boys for long. Anyway, now the girls please." 


First girl: "I'm Julie and my hobby is to see birds."


Teacher: "Good. At last I got something different. Ok next." 


Second girl: "I'm Ruby and I like to collect perfumes."




Teacher "Now it's like educated grown up girls. Ok next. You sweet girl; Yes you..."


Most beautiful girl of the class: 





"Mam, my name is Bubble, and my hobby is to take bath three times a day."

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Paani Paani re, peelay peelay tu..:)




Paani Peene Ka Sahi Waqt

1Glass Subah Uthney Ke Baad,

1Glass Nahaney Ke Baad,

2 Glass Khaney Se 30 Minute Pehle,


Aadah Glass Sone Se Pehle,



Saturday, March 22, 2014

Tumhara naam hath pe likhu ya dil pe??



Husband- Darling !! Tumhara naam hath pe likhu ya dil pe.??

Wife-Idhar udhar Q likhte ho ??

Agar sacha pyar karte ho to sidhe apne property ke paper pe likho.. !!!




Moral : biwi ke saamne style nai marne ka..!!

Friday, March 21, 2014

Inquisitive Kid.





A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.




He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"




She replied, "I'm having a baby."




With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"




She answered, "He sure is."




Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"




She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."




With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked,




.




.




.




.




.




.




.




.




.





"Then why did you eat him?"

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Presentation Matters.





2 Woman friends chatting in the office...


Woman1 : I had a fine evening, how was yours?


Woman 2 : It was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in 3 minutes & fell asleep in 2 minutes... How was yours ???


Woman 1 : Oh it was amazing !!! My husband came home and took me out for a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house. It was like a fairy tale !!!


At the same time, their husbands are talking at work...


Husband 1 : How was your evening ???



Husband 2 : Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate & fell asleep. What about you ???


Husband 1 : It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner, they cut the electricity because I forgot to pay the bill; so I took her out for dinner which was so expensive that didn't have money left for a cab. We walked home which took an hour & when we got home remember there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house !!!







Moral : Presentation does matter. No matter what the reality is...!!







Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Train Made Entirely of Chocolate's





A train made entirely of chocolate has set a new Guinness World Record as the longest chocolate structure in the world.

The sculpture, on display at the busy Brussels South station, is 112-feet (34.05 meters) long and weighs over 2,755 pounds (1250 kilos).

Maltese chocolate artist Andrew Farrugia spent over 700 hours constructing the masterpiece.





Body Painting.

This is not a picture of a parrot..
it's actually a cleverly painted woman..
look closely


World's First Camera



Result reaction



◾Students who study the whole year and get 90% 
◾Students who start studying one week before exams.


Ready, Get set go..




5 Wonders of The world.



1.Two girls sitting quite

2.Wife not asking for money.

3.Girlfriend paying the bills.

4.Girls going out without Make up

5.Boys saying I love you to one girl.



Upvas in new Style for peace of mind.




Living 1 day without: 

Mobile

Facebook

What's app

Electricity

Internet

BBM

TV



Ye Upvas kar ke dekho

Bhagwan Dharti par 

turant prakat ho kar 

tumhare paas aa kar kahege
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Bas kar Pagle ab 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


Rulayega kya

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Universal Law Of Love



Love Can Neither Be Created Nor Be Destroyed; Only It Can Transfer From One Girlfriend To Another Girlfriend With Some Loss Of Money.




1st Law Of Love: 

A Boy In Love With A Girl, Continue To Be In Love With Her And A Girl In Love With A Boy, Continue To Be In Love With Him, Until Or Unless Any External Agent(Brother Or Father Of The Gal) Comes Into Play And Break The Legs Of The Boy.




2nd Law Of Love: The Rate Of Change Of Intensity Of Love Of A Girl Towards A Boy Is Directly Proportional To The Instantaneous Bank Balance Of The Boy And The Direction Of This Love Is Same To As Increment Or Decrement Of The Bank Balance.




3rd Law Of Love: The Force Applied While Proposing A Girl By A Boy Is Equal And Opposite To The Force Applied By The Girl While Slapping,










No matter how many times the teeth bite the tongue, They still stay together in one mouth, That is the spirit of FORGIVENESS!!

Monday, March 17, 2014

Happy Holi! Celebrate with Crackers & Diyas.



Happy Holi! Celebrate with Crackers and Diyas.


Fly kites, Just like I am right now ...


Merry Christmas once again. Take care, happy Bdy.


Bhang mat pina. Maine bhi nahi pee hai , Chadh jati hai. Sachhi. Merry Xmas once again. Take care! Happy birthday

Maine ye msg aapko diwali ki badhayi dene ke liye kiya hai. Aaj is aazadi ke avsar par humein ye rakhi ka tyohaar acche se manana chahiye aur gharon mein dipak laga kar holi khelni chahiye, kyunki aaj hi ke din gandhiji ne ravan ko markar mahabharat ka yudh jeeta tha aur America ko aazad karaya tha. Isliye ek baar fir se aapko janam din ki bahut shubhkamnayein.










Ishwar aapko Bhaang me Bheege is msg ko jhelne ki shakti de.. "MERRY X'MAS" :)

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Happy holi Bolna Padega...holi song, holi song...



Hatho ko Thoda Sa Round Ghumake,

Rang ka Thoda Sa Tika lagake ,

Puri ko Gol Gol Banake,

Aajao Saare Mood Banake 




Say All The holi fans,

holi....

Don't Miss the Chance, holi....




murgi Dance,

puaa Dance,

puri Dance,

murgi Dance......!!




Nashte me jab ye Khane Milega,




On the Spot Khana Padega,




Happy holi Bolna Padega...




Rang Bhi lagana Padega....




Say All the colour fan's...

holi....




Dont miss the chance,

holi....




puri Dance,

khir Dance,

sewai Dance,

peajuaa Dance,

puri Dance,

puaa Dance,

khasshi Dance....

murga Dance 


Holi ki subhkamnaye

Happy Holi.


May God gift you all the colors of life, colors of joy, colors of happiness, colors of friendship, colors of love and all other colors you want to paint in your life. 

Wishing you and your family a very bright, colourful and joyful holi.































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