Read and enjoy Santa and Banta Funny Jokes...
Santa and Banta entered a chocolate store.
As they were busy looking, Banta stole 3 chocolate bars.
As they left the store, banta said to santa "Man I'm the best thief ever, I stole 3 chocolates and no one saw me, u cant beat that"
Santa replied: "You wanna see something butter , let's go back to the shop and I'll show you real stealing"
So they went to the counter and Santa said to the Shop boy: "Do you wanna see magic?"
Shop boy replied: "Yes."
Santa said: "Give me one chocolate bar." The shop boy gave him one, and he ate it.
He asked for the second, and he ate that as well.
He asked for the third, and finished that one too.
The shop boy asked: "But where's the magic?"
Santa replied: "Check in my friend's pocket, and you'll find them."
****************************
Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it OK
Santa : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but??
how much is DRIVING salary...?
****************************
Santa's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light at night when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when light
is not needed!!!
****************************
Santa and Banta are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the
other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says
YES...NO...YES...NO...YES...NO..
***************************
Santa shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do register marriage
and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post office....
***************************
A Tamilian call up Santa and asks " tamil therima??"
Santa got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"
****************************
Santa and Banta are looking at Egyptian mummy.
Santa : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Banta : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....
***************************
Santa on an interview 4 da post detective.
Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?
Santa : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating.......
***************************
Santa for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . he replaced friend with father
in the essay and>it read: AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS,
SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE
FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.
****************************
Interviewar: what s ur qualification?
Santa : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Santa : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY....
****************************
Santa: Agar nariyal ke ped pe chad jaun to..
engineering college ki ladkiyan dikh jayegi
Banta: Pir hath chod dena,
to medical college ki bhi dikh jayegi
****************************
Santa was Reading Financial Times...
Headlines: "Microsoft Buys What'sApp for $8.5 billion."
Santa - "O Teri!! Kharida Kyun, Download Kar Leta"
****************************
"Foreign Return Banta"
Santa: Oye... Tu ladki dekh aya? Kaisi
hain??
Banta: Rang se Kali hain Aur kaan se
kam sunti hain...
Santa: Zara, English Mein bata
Banta: "Black-Beherry" hai !
****************************
Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
"Me sick, no work"
Boss SMS back:
"When I am sick I kiss my wife try it"
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
"Me ok, ur wife very sweet
***************************
Santa dukandar se: mujhe is shampoo ke saath free cheez nahi mili.
Dukandar: iske saath kuchh free nahi milta hai.
Santa: arre, par is shampoo pe likha hua hai.
Dukandar: kahan likha hai?
Santa: ye dekhiye.idhar likha hua hai DANDRUFF FREE
***************************
This is absolute rofl stuff
Sardar ne ek baccha kidnap kiya aur mathe pe sticker chipkaya:
'Bachha zinda chahiyeh toh 10 Lakh kal subha pul k niche phaucha do'.
Yeh likha aur bache ko ghar wapas bhej diya.
Doosre din wo pul k neche gya to usey paise mil gaye or sath sticker pe likha tha:
"Maa Qasam, paise ka gam nahi. Gam is baat ka hai ki Sardar ne Sardar ko loota.?=))
