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Saturday, November 30, 2013

They are back to make you laugh non stop...

Read and enjoy Santa and  Banta Funny Jokes... 

Santa and Banta entered a chocolate store. 

As they were busy looking, Banta stole 3 chocolate bars.

As they left the store, banta  said to santa "Man I'm the best thief ever, I stole 3 chocolates and no one saw me, u cant beat that" 

Santa replied: "You wanna see something butter , let's go back to the shop and I'll show you real stealing" 

So they went to the counter and Santa said to the Shop boy: "Do you wanna see magic?"

Shop boy replied: "Yes."

Santa said: "Give me one chocolate bar." The shop boy gave him one, and he ate it.

 He asked for the second, and he ate that as well.

He asked for the third, and finished that one too. 

The shop boy asked: "But where's the magic?" 

Santa replied: "Check in my friend's pocket, and you'll find them."


Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it OK 

Santa : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but?? 
how much is DRIVING salary...? 


Santa's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light at night when light is needed & Sun gives light during  the day when light 
is not needed!!! 


Santa and Banta are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the 
other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says 


Santa shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do register marriage 
and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post office.... 


A Tamilian call up Santa and asks  " tamil therima??" 
Santa got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!" 


Santa and Banta are looking at Egyptian mummy. 
Santa : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Banta : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....


Santa on an interview 4 da post detective. 
Interviewer : who killed Gandhi? 
Santa : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating....... 


Santa for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . he replaced friend with father 
in the essay and>it read:  AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS, 


Interviewar: what s ur qualification? 
Santa : Sir I am Ph.d. 
Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d? 
Santa : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY.... 

Santa: Agar nariyal ke ped pe chad jaun to..
engineering college ki ladkiyan dikh jayegi
Banta: Pir hath chod dena,
to medical college ki bhi dikh jayegi

Santa was Reading Financial Times...

Headlines: "Microsoft Buys What'sApp for $8.5 billion."

Santa - "O Teri!! Kharida Kyun, Download Kar Leta" 


"Foreign Return Banta"
Santa: Oye... Tu ladki dekh aya? Kaisi
Banta: Rang se Kali hain Aur kaan se
kam sunti hain...
Santa: Zara, English Mein bata
Banta: "Black-Beherry" hai !

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
"Me sick, no work"
Boss SMS back:
"When I am sick I kiss my wife try it"
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
"Me ok, ur wife very sweet


Santa dukandar se: mujhe is shampoo ke saath free cheez nahi mili.
Dukandar: iske saath kuchh free nahi milta hai.
Santa: arre, par is shampoo pe likha hua hai.
Dukandar: kahan likha hai?
Santa: ye dekhiye.idhar likha hua hai DANDRUFF FREE


This is absolute rofl stuff

Sardar ne ek baccha kidnap kiya aur mathe pe sticker chipkaya:
'Bachha zinda chahiyeh toh 10 Lakh kal subha pul k niche phaucha do'. 
Yeh likha aur bache ko ghar wapas bhej diya.
Doosre din wo pul k neche gya to usey paise mil gaye or sath sticker pe likha tha:
"Maa Qasam, paise ka gam nahi. Gam is baat ka hai ki Sardar ne Sardar ko loota.?=))

Why not daughter..

Spend Your Time with those who love you..

Facebook Bai

Friday, November 29, 2013

Don’t you dare disturb me....

A couple watching an IPL match on the TV together. After five minutes:

Wife: Is that Bret Lee

Husband: No. He is Chris Gayle. Bret Lee is the bowler.

Wife: Bret Lee is smart. He should be in the movies like his brother.

Husband: He does not have an actor brother

Wife: What about Bruce Lee 

Husband: No no, Bret Lee is an Australian 

Wife: OK. Look. Another wicket in just two minutes.

Husband: No. It is called action replay.

Wife: Looks like India is going to win this one.

Husband: It is not India. It is Bangalore vs Kolkatta 

Wife: Why is the umpire calling for a helicopter.

Husband: He is not calling for a helicopter. It’s a free hit. 

Wife: Did the spectators not pay for the tickets? Why is it a ‘ free’ hit? 

Wife: Now whom is he saying ‘HI’ to?

Husband: He is signalling a ‘Bye’.

Wife: Why is he saying ‘Bye’. Is the game over? 

Wife: How many runs to win?

Husband: 72 in 36 balls

Wife: Ah. That is easy. Just 2 runs in 1 ball

Husband turns off the TV .

Wife turns it on and watches ‘Saraswasti Chandra’ 

Husband: Who is this Saraswati Chandra?

Wife: Tumhari Maa. Don’t you dare disturb me.... 

Husband: :(

Thursday, November 28, 2013

That glorious, happy, emotional moment which depicts unconditional love?

You remember that scene from filmmaker Karan Johar’s Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham? 

The Diwali scene, where amidst all the celebration, song and dance Jaya Bachchan smiles benignly and then something in her just awakens, she starts quivering as Shahrukh Khan steps down from the Raichand chopper, running to greet his mother. 

That glorious, happy, emotional moment which depicts unconditional love?

Yes that is exactly how a Wife, Mother, Aunts,

Sisters and Women friends feel and react

when they see their 'MAIDS' return after their Holidays"

Forgive and love..

I don't have time to hate..

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Don't worry be happy..

Have Trust in your relationship,  
Not on the tounge
Keep that sweetness always alive
This is the way to live your life
Don't worry be happy
Follow the same rule
 for your near and dear One's... 

Tuesday, November 26, 2013


Best joke ever about Ladies and their driving skills

Best joke ever about Ladies driving:

Doctor to injured patient:

Jab car ek lady chalaa rahi thi to tumhein road se dur chalnaa chaahiye tha.







Kaun sa road?

Main to Garden mein letaa huaa tha.

A man meets his friend

who has started wearing ear rings.

He asks "Since when did u start wearing earrings?"


"ever since my wife

found them in my car !!!

Some women are sooo concerned about their husband's happiness. ......

that they hire detectives to find out who is responsible for it...

The only 2 persons whom a woman listens carefully & follows Sincerely & does EXACTLY as he says is a.... TAILOR & PHOTOGRAPHER

Monday, November 25, 2013

Women live a Better, Longer & Peaceful Life, as compared to men. WHY?

Q- You know why women love shoes?
A- Because no matter how much & whatever they eat , the shoes always fit..

Q- Why can't Women Drive well?
A- Because there are so many mirrors in a car to distract them..

Q- Why can't Women stand a day in a Jungle?
A- There are no Shopping Centers..

Q- How to save a Dying Woman?
A- Tell her about a 90% Sale going on somewhere..

Q- If a Woman is Quiet, which day is it?
A- Who Cares, just Enjoy that Day..

The woman who invented the phrase "All men
are the same" was a Chinese woman who lost
her husband in a crowd.


After Accident, Driver Angrily said -
I showed you the Headlights and told u let
me go first.........

Female Driver- I also started the Wipers
and said No, No, No..

Driver fainted !!!
There are 3 kinds of men in this
Some remain single and make
wonders happen. Some have
girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Rest get married and wonder what
 Puri LIFE ko Sudhaarne k liye ek
WIFE kafi hai, Par ek WIFE ko
sudhaarne k liye puri LIFE bhi kam
hai, -
Wives are magicians. ..... . . . . . . . . . .
They can change anything into an argument
Women live a Better, Longer &
Peaceful Life, as compared to men.
replied: Women don't have a wife!


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