Husband and Wife

An Angry Wife To Her Husband 0n Phone:"Where d Hell Are You ...?"
Husband: Darling You Remember That Jewellery Shop Where You Saw The
Diamond Necklace n Totally Fell In Love With It n I Didn't Have Money That Time n I said "Baby It'll Be Yours 1 Day ... "O:)
Wife, With A Smile & Blushing: Yeah I Remember That My Love!
Husband: I ‘m in the Pub Just Next To That ShopWife drinking WHISKEY,


     

Wife asked "Tum kaun ho?" 
Husband- "Pagal ho gayi ho kya? Apne husband ko bhool gayi? "
Wife: "Nasha har gum bhula deta hai "Bhaisaab"..!!Irony of life....



Wife- I am too fed up of your daily fights and I just wanna divorce ..
Hb- Ok but first take dis chocolate ..
Wf emotionaly- so u don't want me to go, manaa rahe ho mujhe chocolate deke.
Hb- Nahi, maa kehti hai, kuch shubh kaam karne se pehle, kuch meetha khana chahiye.. Kaam achchha hota hai.




Few marriage humors will make you laugh-----`Enjoyable`:-
1. Quote on a man’s T-shirt: All women are devils... But my wife is QUEEN of them!

2. Man was sent on earth to suffer...Women was sent to make sure it happens!

3. A man asked for poison. Chemist refused, since it required prescription.He showed his Marriage Certificate.

4. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, And other is husband!
 
5. Husband & Wife always compromise.Husband always admits that he is wrong, and wife agrees with him.

6. Husband & wife had a long argument. Wife concluded: See dear; do you want to WIN
or be HAPPY?
 
7. A man speaks 25000 words daily, a woman speaks 30000 words. Problem starts when husband comes from office after finishing his 25000, & wife starts her quota of 30000 words!
 
8. Boy: My dad is billionaire & 93-years old. He will die soon. Will you marry me? Girl: NO.
A week later she became his step-mother.
Moral: Don’t give ideas to girls.

9. Two things in life are difficult to achieve:
(1) to plant your idea in someone’s head, &
(2) to plant somebody’s money in your pocket.
* He who succeeds in the 1st, we call him TEACHER;
* He who succeeds in the 2nd, we call him GOVERNMENT;
* The one who succeeds in both, we call WIFE; &
* The one who fails in both, we call HUSBAND!
 
10. Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It Means-Worries Invited For Ever... Wife: No; it means- With Idiot For Ever !!!
 
11. No one teaches a volcano how to erupt... No one teaches a tsunami how to arise… No one teaches a hurricane how to sway around... No one teaches a man how to choose a wife… Natural Disasters just happen…!!!

12. Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either or money or life...The wives want both!
 
13. Searching these keywords on Google 'How to tackle wife?' Google search result, 'Good day sir, Even we are searching'.

14. Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right. It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!

 
15. Whisky is a brilliant invention… One double and you start feeling single again.
 
16. American: In India, do you guys call your wives ‘HONEY’ in your native language?
Indian: Oh no; we call them BEE-BEE… they sting twice as hard as HONEY BEE…!!!


IF UR IN LOVE:
- Make the best of it.
- Don't doubt anythng.
- Enjoy it bcoz nothing lasts 4ever.

IF U JUST BROKE UP:
- Don't cry! Remembr that u had a gud time.
- Nvr stay alne! Ur friends are Der.
- Hug more people.
- Stop listening to sad music! It only make things worse.

IF UR SINGLE:
- Stay happy:)
- Hang out with friends and family.
- Try looking 4 sumeone who you think is da best for u.

IF UR MARRIED:
-Game over just delete dis msg n get back to sleep

 
Defination of a Holiday ?
Holiday is a day when a man stops doing what his boss wants and starts doing what his wife wants...


Girl:Will u marry me?
Santa:No hmare yaha shadi srf relatves m hoti h.
Papa ne Mummy se ki,didi ne jiju se,baiya ne bhabi se ki.Me b apne Biwi se hi krunga.!!



Wife: Aapko meri khoobsurati zayada achi lagti hai ya aqalmandi?
Husband: Mujhey to tumhari ye mazaaq ki aadat bahut achi Lagti Hai..


Getting Bored??? Need sum adventure in life?
Go to a stranger's wedding and scream.... 'Don't marry dear.... ' I still love you'!!!


One economical thought: 'D best line wich helps 2 save money wen going on dinner wid ur gf/wife- . . . "bol kya khayegi MOTI..?

A boys calls her ex

Boy : hey i jus saw a muvie, it reminded me of u......miss u

Gal : awwwww .....even i miss u......kaunsi muvie dekhi

Boy : ek thi daayan


An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son-in-law, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.

As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son-in-law. 'Yes, Dad, what is it?'

'Don't be nervous son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well...... if something happens to me, your mother in law is going to come and live with you.'

The surgery was a great success



Wife Calls hubby...

Wife: Kya Kar Rahe Ho?

Hubby: Office Mein Hoon, Bohat Busy Hoon aur Tum Kya Kar Rahi Ho?

Wife: KFC Mein Tumhare Peeche Bachon K Saath Bethi Hu Aur Bacche Pooch Rahe Hain K Papa K Saath Konsi BHUA Bethi Hain?