THE NEW GET BLOCKED PJ's...

Boy : Whats your Name??

Girl: Palak and you Boy: Paneer *BLOCKED!!!*

Commented on Her Facebook StatusHappy New Year 

She: Same to you. 

I Edited My Comment to 

I LOVE YOU 

*BLOCKED*

Girl : Hello i am khusbu 

Boy : khusbu ka dusra naam 

bharosa agarbati....

kone kone me khusbu faila de 

 **blocked** 

Boy:hi, wats ur name??

Girl: its Neha Singhal. Boy: oh. . M also Single. *blocked* 

 Girl: What's Up? 

Boy: Uttar Pradesh...

 *gets blocked* 

Girl : tu soya hai...??

 Boy : Nahi...! 

Schezwan hu..! 

*Gets Blocked Instantly* 

Girl: I'm free tommorow! 

Boy: pehle kya paid thi?? 

 *GETS BLOCKED* 

Boy: aj mausam achha h mall chalte h. 

Girl: wahan kya karenge?? 

Boy: hawan karenge, hawan karenge. *blocked* 

 Girl : see ya! 

Boy: ram chandra ki jai !

*Blocked* 

Girl: Have a Good Day.... 

Boy: No thank you... 

I like Parle-G more... *blocked* 

Girl: I need some Space. 

Boy: Ok then go to Sonakshi Sinha's forehead. 

*Blocked* 

 Girl puts up her status "waiting for CHENNAI EXPRESS" 

Boy: COOLIE hai kya? ?

 *Blocked* 

 Boy- Thank you 

Girl-My pleasure 

Boy- My Bajaj Pulsar *Reported as spam* 

Write an essay on WIFE?

A married student wrote a One Line Essay 

& Got Full Marks! 

The answer was : 

"She has a PROBLEM for every SOLUTION"

STOCK MARKET EFFECT

Depressed Husband to his fat wife,

 "You are my only investment, that has doubled."

How to Create thr Biggest Doubt in ur Wife's Mind for you..

Why do we sometimes write 'etc' at the end in the exam?
bcoz it means... E- End of T- Thinking  C- Capacity.

　

How to Create d Biggest Doubt in ur Wife's Mind 4 u
　
Just Suddenly send her SMS Saying..
"I Luv u too" (GAME OVER!)

　

When do you know ur in love ?
Ans : When you start searching for the cheapest mobile plan

　

What is the Diff b/w Young Age & Old Age?
Simple : In Young Age Phone Is Full Of Darlings Numbers.
In Old Age : Its Full of Doctors Numbers.

"Why is Facebook such a hit ?
It works on the principle that People are more interested in others life than their own.

A Question Asked In A Talent Test: If You Are Married To 1 Of The Twin Sisters, How would You Recognize Your WIFE?
The Best Answer : Why d Hell Should I recognize ?

V Pronounce 22 as Twenty Two, 33 as Thirty Three, 44 as Forty Four, 55 as Fifty Five, Why not 11 as Onety One?
Doubt By last bench association.

What is the diff between "GHAZAL" & "LECTURE" ?
Every word spoken by the girlfriend is "GHAZAL" and Every word spoken by wife is "LECTURE"

Whats d diff btwn Pongal n idly?

think...think..think...

Ans : U ll get a holiday for pongal but not for idly.

　

What will be the girl's name born on 1st of APRIL ? Guess Guess Guess Guess

Ans : "FOOLAN DEVI..

　

Why does d bride & groom exchange garlands at d time of wedding..... B'coz they

say to each other affectionately that : "DARLING NOW U R DEAD"...


What is the height of confusion? Two earth worms Playing HIDE AND SEEK in a Plate full of noodles.

Wat is d Biggest Benefit of having a crush in d same college where u study ?
Ans 100% Attendazzz

Teacher: What Is The Difference Between HIMAMI & SUNAMI ?
Pappu : HIMAMI is Face Wash, SUNAMI is Total Wash.!

Define Girl....



 

The one who before going out for a party,

Gets

Facial,

Bleach,

Waxing,

Hair curling/straitening,

Threading,

Toning,

Scrubbing,

Moisturizing,

done

&

Puts on

Lipstick,

Lip Gloss,

Lip liner,

Perfume,

Body toner,

Body lotion,

Eye liner,

Eye shadow,

Eye mascara,

Foundation,

Face powder,

Rings, 

Bracelets,

Necklace,

Nail Paint, 

Party dress, 

Sandal, 

Purse,

and
Says-

"Yaar !
Jaldi mein kuch kiya hi nahi,
aise hi uth kar aa gayi "
 

 

 

 

 Now Define Boy ....

.

.

.

The one who before going to party calls  his friend & asks :

"Bhai,
tu nahaa  kar aayega kya?"

Friend Reply
"Chal be saale !
Tere baap ki shadi hai kya ?"


I'm not feeling well today !

Dr:Kaise aana hua?

Patient: Doctorsaab tabiyat theek nahi hai!!

Dr: Sharab peete ho?

Patient: Peeta to hoon dr sahab, par chhota peg hi banana. I'm not feeling well today !

Most STUPID questions people usually ask

1. At movies:
Hey! What are you doing here?
Me: I sell tickets in black here. Don't you know? 

2. In bus: A fat lady steps on my feet: Sorry did that hurt?
Me: No not at all. I'm on local anesthesia. Why don't you try again? 

3. When I get woken up at midnight by a call: sorry! Were u sleeping?
Me: Na! I was doing research on whether monkeys in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping, you stupid fool?

4. When they see me with shorter hair: hey Have u had a haircut?
Me: Nah! Its autumn. my hair's shedding.! 

5. When someone call's on land-line n asks where r u?
Me: M in market with telephone around my neck...!!! 

6.when I m washing my car neighbor: hey are u washing it?
Me: No, I m just watering it so that it grows into a big bus 

Height of irritation..

 

Height of irritating someone:"

Boy:" pen hai ??
Girl:" nahi..

Thodi der baad..
Boy:" pen hai ??
Girl:" nahi bola na..
Boy:" pen hai pen ??
Girl:" nahi hai kaminey, aur abki bar pucha to
to hathode se sar phod dungi tera..:@
Kuch der baad...
Boy:" hathoda hai kya..???
Girl:" nahi..
Boy:" accha.. to phir pen hai pen..???..


A guy calls an unknown number..
Guy: Fridge hai?
Reply: Haan hai.
Guy: Chalta hai?
Reply: Haan chalta hai..
Guy: Toh pakad ke rakhna, warna bhaag jaayega..
And he hangs up.. After a while, he calls up again..
Guy: Fridge hai?
This time the person's really angry.
Reply: Nahi hai.
Guy: Kahaan se hoga.. Bola tha na pakad ke rakhna varna bhaag jaayega..