Wife hints for a new car!!!

Wife hints to Husband for a new Car!!!!

Honey, Buy me something that goes from 0 to 80 in three seconds when i am on it....

Husband Gifted her!!!!

A "Weight Machine"

You are an auditor.....

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. 

The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie gets out and asks the shepherd, 'If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?' 

The shepherd looks at the young man, then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies, 'Okay.'

The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Website, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with algorithms and pivot tables. He then prints out a 150-page report on his high-tech mini-printer, turns to the shepherd and says, ''You have exactly 1,586 sheep.' The shepherd cheers, 'That's correct, you can have your sheep.'

The young man takes one of the animals from the flock and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks, 'If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?' The young man answers, 'Yes, why not?' The shepherd says, 'You are an auditor.' 'How did you know?' asks the young man. 'Very simple,' answers the shepherd.

'Firstly, you came here without being wanted.
Secondly, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew.
Thirdly, you don't understand anything about my business.....
Now can I have my dog back? '

Arrange Marriage is like......

Arrange Marriage is like while U R walking Unfortunately a snake bites you. 

But love marriage is dancing in front of the snake and keep saying..... bite, bite....

Boys need strict parents......

My nights are going sleepless

My nights are going sleepless, my days are going useless. So I asked GOD, "is this love?". GOD replied, "no dear, result is near".

You R the one!!!

You R the one who is CHARMING, U R the one who is INTELLIGENT, U R the one who is CUTE, and I am the One who is spreading these RUMORS.

When I was in school....

When I was in school, some one stole my rough note book, Now they call it as

"Oxford Dictionary"

Crazy People!!!

No Claps Plz!

I don't like Publicity :-p

Awesome Love Story.....

A gal n boy loved each other a lot.. 


Gal always said: "My heart is always with you! I'm Living without a Heart"....


After some days, girl said she can't marry him, coz her family disagreed..


Boy said:okay, i will follow what you say, as i want, you should always be happy..


Later gal got married n was looking thru gifts. She came across a gift and starts crying. It was the boys real Heart packed in a Jar!!!
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Climax: Ladke ne sucide kiya ya usa murder hua???






Kyunki agar suicide kiya, toh Heart  pack Kisne Kiya?????












Janne ke Liye Dekhiye.........




CID




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