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Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Husband Wife Jokes

Wife: "In my dream, I saw you in a jewelry store and you bought me a diamond ring."

Husband: "I had the same dream and I saw your dad paying the bill.
Doctor:Madam, your husband needs rest
and pease so here are some sleeping pills.

Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?
Doctor:They are for you.!!


Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"
Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
A husband asks his wife, "Will you marry after I die?" The wife responds, "No, I will live with my sister." The wife asks him back, "Will you marry after I die?" The husband responds, "No, I will also live with your sister."


Wife called her husband
Wife: honey where are you?
Husband: I'm at the bank.
Wife: dear, please I need 3000 rupees to activate my blackberry,
5000 to do my hair and
10,000 to buy a dress.
Husband: sorry, I meant I was at the "bank" of a river.
Do you want fish to cook?


Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

One million copies of a new book sold
In just 2 days due to typing error of 1 alphabet in title.

"An idea,that can change ur wife''
While real word was(life).

A Husband & Wife Were
Arguing Over Some Issue.
After Much Of Discussion,
Wife Finally Said:
"Tell Me Dear ,
Do You Want To Win
Do You Want To Be Happy . . ?

Argument Ended
Friends Are like “Priya Gold Biscuit‚ Haq Se maango
Girl Friends are like Pepsi Yeh Dil Maange More
Wife is like a medicine Bas Ek hi kaafi hai
A Lady to Doctor:
My husband has d habit of talking in sleep! wat shud i giv him to cure?
Dr: Give him an Opportunity to speak wen hez awake..
Nobody teaches
Volcanoes to erupt,
Tsunamis to devastate,
Hurricanes to sway around
no one teaches
How to choose a Wife,

Difference between Husband & gadha.

Ans:Husband gadha ban sakta hai,
Gadha itna bhi gadha nahi k husband bane!!
Judge: How can you prove
you were not speeding your car?

Man: Sir, I was on the way to
bring back my wife from her mother's home!

Judge: that's all, case dismissed :p
How woman calls their husband in first 6 years
Yr 1.Janu
Yr 2.O G.
Yr 3.Sunte ho?
Yr 4.O sonu k pappa
Yr 5.Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 6.Tum aate ho k main aaon?
Two Guys Are Chatting..

Guy A: "I'm Going To Bring My Wife To Australia For Our 20th Anniversary."

Guy B: "Oh.. That's Cool. What About Ur 25th Anniversary?"

Guy A: "I Will Go Back To Australia To Bring Her Back." :)
An elderly husband and wife visit their doctor

when they begin forgetting little things.

Their doctor tells them that many people find it useful to write themselves little notes.

When they get home, the wife says,

"Dear, will you please go to the kitchen

and get me a dish of ice cream?

And maybe write that down so you won't forget?"

"Nonsense," says the husband,

"I can remember a dish of ice cream."

"Well," says the wife, "I'd also like some
strawberries and whipped cream on it."

"My memory's not all that bad,
" says the husband. "No problem -- a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream.

I don't need to write it down."

He goes into the kitchen; his wife hears pots and pans banging around.

The husband finally emerges from the kitchen and presents his wife with a plate of bacon and eggs.

She looks at the plate and asks,

"Hey, where's the toast I asked for?"

A Poetry Competition asked For A 2-Line
Rhyme With d Most Romantic 1st Line &
the Least Romantic 2nd Line

There's d Winning Rhymes

My darling, My Love,My Beautiful Wife
Marrying U Ruined,My Whole Life

I c Ur Face When I m Dreaming
That's Why I Always Wake Up Screaming

Kind Intelligent, Loving & Hot
This Describes Everything You r Not

I Love Ur Smile, Ur Face & Ur Eyes
Damn, I'm V Good At Telling Lies

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