Lie Detector

A man buys a lie detector robot which slaps people who lie. He decides 2 test it @ dinner. 

Dad: Son, where were u today during school hours?

SON: at School. Robot slaps son!

Ok,I lied, I went to the movies.

DAD: Which one?

SON: Toy Story. Robot slaps son again!

Ok, it was Bedroom Eyes. 

DAD: What?! When I was ur age,I didn't even know what films were.. Robot slaps Dad!

MOM: Ha ha! After all he's ur son. Robot slaps mom...!








Total Silence...

BBM status!!

If animals and insects have BBM, these are most likely to be their Status Updates :

COCKROACH: "Managed to skip from some one’s foot step.. Man, I lead a dangerous lifestyle!

Cat: "My 7th child is asking who is her dad. What shall I tell her??,I don’t even remember"....

Mosquito: "I am HIV positive.. this is all due to wrong sucking"

Pig: "Oh gosh they throw the gossips that I am spreading flu…WTF!! 

Goat : "Friends, don’t go out, Eid is coming soon..

Chicken: "If tomorrow there's no status update from my side, means I'm being served at KFC. 

Love you all "

Gabbar and Sambha Joke

Gabbar:- Kitne Admi the?

Sambha:- Sarkar 2.

Gabbar:- Mujhe ginti nahi ati, 2 kitne hote he??

Smb:- 2 1 ke Baad ata he.

Gab:- aur 2 k pehle??

Smb:- 2 k pehle 1 ata he.

Gabbr:- To bich me kaun ata he?

Samb:- Bichme koi nahi ata.

Gab:- To fir Dono ek sath Q nahi ate?

Smb:- 2 1 k bad hi aa sakta he Qki 2 1 se bada he

Gab:- 2 1 se Kitna bada he?

Samba:- abe oye goli marni h to mar de, tera namak khaya hai, chavananprash nahi :-))

Rocking question...shocking answer...

Lady on telephone:

Hello Sir, I want to meet & talk to you..

Man: do u know me..

Lady: Yes you are the father of one of my kids.

Man stunned,

Oh my God!

Are u Nisha?
No

Disha?
No

Maitri?
No

Anushka?

No

Mitali?

No

Vaishali?
No

Vijita?
No

Lady in confusion...

No sir i'm the class teacher of your son.. .

Funny interview with Santa!

Interviewer: Let me check ur English, tell me d opposite of good.?
Banta: Bad.

Interviewer: Come?
Banta: Go.

Interviewer: Ugly?
Banta: Pichhlli.

Interviewer: PICHLLI?
Banta: UGLY.

Interviewer: Shut Up.
Banta: Keep talking.

Interviewer: Ok, now stop all dis.
Banta: Ok, now carry on all dis.

Interviewer: Abey, chup ho ja..chup ho ja..chup ho jaa.
Banta: Abey bolta ja..bolta ja..bolta ja.

Interviewer: Arey, yaar.
Banta: Arey dushman.

Interviewer: Get Out.
Banta: Come In.

Interviewer: Oh my God.
Banta: Oh, my devil.

Interviewer: shhhhhhh
banta: Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Interviewer: mere bap chup hoja
banta: mere bete bolta reh

Interviewer: U are rejected.
Banta: I m selected. Bolo ta ra ra ra ra.=)) =D

Height of MISUNDERSTANDING

Someone placed a bomb near lady.

Everyone around started yelling"Aunty bomb hai"
She smiled & said"Nahi re, ab pehli jaisi baat kaha"

What do you call couples after few years of marriage?

If newly wed couples are called
 

" Love Birds ",

What do you call couples after few years of marriage...
 

 Guess....

 

" Angry Birds " ....!!!!

WOMEN ARE STILL SHOPPING...

Man discovered COLORS and invented PAINT..
Woman got inspired from PAINT and invented MAKEUP..

Man discovered WORD and invented CONVERSATION..
Woman got inspired from CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP..

Man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD...
Woman got inspired from FOOD and invented DIET....

Man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE....
Woman got inspired from LOVE and invented LOVE TRIANGLES.

Man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY...
Woman got MONEY and started SHOPPING...

Thats it!
Thereafter, man has discovered and invented a lot of things... WHILE WOMEN ARE STILL SHOPPING.